Sometimes it happens that everyone of us is heartbroken. Usually after a consultation with an expert (here: mother/father/brother/boyfriend/girlfriend/friend) you we seem to lose our hysterical feelings and begin to calm down. We try to bottle emotions up and to persuade ourselves that everything is OK. We read books, feeling as brave as a lion, but actually being as proud as a peacock, we feel connection with characters of beautiful histories without really having it at all. It is not as if our heart is pounding every day or the're a rush of adrenaline in our blood, no. Frankly speaking, we feel uneasy not because our everyday tasks are done bad, but because we're full of obligations. I want to be faithful to myself: almost everything I do is just a new stage of waiting for a miracle, that something will happen and make me ecstatic.
However, I do not do what I want - I can't draw or write something, I'm not able even to lose my temper, because I have to study, or do boring things, which never end. When do have a marvellous, fantastic trips? Never. How often do I get butterflies in my stomach? Only if there's something exhausting in my studying bores me with unuseful information. We study till midnight, not daring to give our innermost thoughts. To tell the truth, I don't know, what I am spending my time on - I am ashamed of myself. Of course, in all this routine there still can be an event, which will make me jubilant or furious. There are very few things in my life, which I do because I'm not guttered. I do not want to offend my professors or the university I study at, or my parents, who help me to avoid sheer desperation, but...Does everybody know what is he or she doing? We have a huge wall called "society", and we created that wall. Because of it we love those who wear their hearts on their sleeves and detest those who don't want to disclose their own worlds, and vice versa.
I don't want to obey such rules: I want to be vulnerable and as stubborn as a donkey at the same time. I wish I could go anywhere and after returning not to suppress my feelings. For me the thing is that we don't have to care about usual things. Otherwise many years later we will be stunned by the fact that during our life we didn't do anything important for us.
No, it's not a wall called 'society'. First of all, there are barriers inside you.
ВідповістиВидалитиIf we're not able to destroy them, we'll accuse society of not giving us a possibility to move ahead.
I don't think that by learning we bury our heads to the sand. We are trying to be as brave as a lion by owercoming difficulties, it's not a point whant you do it or not, it is all about keeping working on yourself.
ВідповістиВидалитиI consider you know this famous figure of speech:
ВідповістиВидалити"Everything what didn`t kill us made us stronger" I agree with Olesia, the main causes of our despear and growing principals are inside us! Society may set certain limits but can not always force us to follow them. We often can not put the things right but we can change our response! Just reflect on my train of thoughts)